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I am trying to define who I want to be as an actor
Jul 31, 2019
Basically, I am trying to fit myself to the image of the characters I would like to play. A lot of this involves the shape, and fitness, of my body.
I have always been able to play the "heavy." Playing the menacing character has always been my type, even when I was at my heaviest. I have been told I have an angry face.
However, to play the menacing guy honestly, in this day and age, I need to be able to get back my ability to stage fight. I need to be able to tumble and take the falls. That requires a level of fitness that I have let slip by.
I have lived in the gym. It makes me strong. It does not make me fit. I contemplated Crossfit, but I have heard too many horror stories about injuries due the to culture of crossfit. My own brother suffered such an injury during his crossfit phase. If I am honest with myself, that takes a backseat to the fact that I am not, nor have I ever been, a joiner. Crossfit is a culture of group. I am a loner.
So, I thought back to the time in my life when I was the most fit. The Army. The Army does not send you to the gym. They do calisthenics. Calisthenic exercises today have expanded beyond what the Army taught me.
I spent the last month on multiple fitness challenges. I feel fantastic. Now, I will slip into a regular routine. I may not gain the size I once had, but at 53, I think it is time to be nicer to my joints. Muscle is still added weight.
Just as I have recently left certain performing gigs that no longer align with my focus, I am shaping the physical part of my instrument to better align to my goals as a performer.
It is a strong reminder that we never stop learning and training.
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What defines a working actor?
Jul 30, 2019
I have, for the last 15 years, made my living solely from performing. For that reason, I have defined myself as a working actor. The majority of that work has been in theme parks and dinner theaters in Orlando, FL.
There came a time, however, when I grew tired of this type of corporate performing. Yes, I was an actor, but I was equally a mimic. For every role in this town, there are several performers who share the character. In order to maintain a standard of performance, some creativity is stripped from the individual performers to maintain a level of uniformity.
I took a job outside of entertainment here in Orlando. I still walk the boards, which really only pays a stipend, but allows for the level of creativity that I now need in my performances. I am beginning to create my own content again.
As my previous post stated, I have a big project coming out. I have several more irons in the fire. My biggest challenge has been to find partners with whom I can work. Actors come to this town to train in those theme parks and dinner theaters. Some so they can move on to cities like New York, Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Toronto. Some so they can build a larger performing life here in Orlando. As such, many of them don't want to step away from those gigs to work on outside projects.
I understand. I really do.
I am not paying my bills through performance. Am I still a working actor?
Yes, I think I am. I am a working actor because I am still creating performances. No, I am not getting paid for the majority of them anymore, but at this point in my career, that is just to allow the next phase of my performing life to take shape.
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Something New
Jul 30, 2019
So... I have been working on a project for a bit over two years now. It is personal. It is raw. It is almost ready for the world to see.
I will admit that I am a bit nervous to release this. After so long, it feels like a part of me. But, I know it has to go out into the world as it may just help someone.
I could not have done it without two amazing people.
Josh Solomon has brought an artistic eye to the project that I never would have been able to find elsewhere.
Tiffany Gentry is more technical in her approach, but she also just seems to understand what I want to say.
Soon, people... soon.
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What am I doing here?
Aug 9, 2017
So... I don't really know what I want this blog to be about. I suppose I considered that it should be a performing blog, but that just seemed to sterile.
I don't think it will be a good idea for me to spill out my inner-most feelings here either. But, I do want to share more of my life than just what shows I am doing.
For now, I will likely just play with some stream-of-consciousness. We can see where it leads to. Besides, as of right now, I really think I have a ghost audience for all this.
On the performing side, I am playing with some interesting projects. I am working with a group who are creating an interactive theatre experience. This would be my second time with such a group here in Orlando. I hope that this experience is better than my first.
I am also directing again. It has been a long while. The source material is rich with potential, so instead of a regular rehearsal process, I am going to workshop the show to see what the actors can create within the framework of the script. I am excited to see where their minds go.
People say that I have an easy job. All I have to do is perform. I do not always think that people take the time to consider all the effort that goes into the performance before it is ever a performance. But, in many ways, they are correct. It is never hard work if it is your passion.
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Why is this still an issue?
Aug 4, 2017
This would be my first “real” post on the new blog.
I have, as of late, given a lot of thought to how society, here and abroad, beats down women. Race, religion, nationality… none of this really matters. This would seem to be a world-wide problem.
It reminds me of a story from my life with my beloved Tatiana.
We moved here in 2004 and were both scareactors for Halloween Horror Nights, at Universal Studios Orlando. In 2005, she continued as a scareactor and I moved over to be an entertainment coordinator for the event.
In 2006, she decided to be a coordinator as well. We both worked as coordinators in different areas of the event. She liked it.
In 2007, we both interviewed to be coordinators and/or assistant stage managers. I remember her being anxious one day. I knew phone calls were going out and I assumed she was just worried she would not get one. I knew she would get one. She was amazing, after all. I had already received my coordinator call, so I understood her nerves.
Well, that did not turn out to be the reason she was so nervous. She had, in fact, received her call. She had been offered and ASM position. She was worried I would be mad at her if she accepted it and our relationship was more important than work.
I hugged her and held her close. I told her the only way I would be mad is if she did not take the position. She asked for reassurance again that I could handle her being in a higher position than me.
To this day, it makes me want to cry. I have, as of now, known her parents for 15 years. But, even then, I knew they had raised her to be a strong woman who chased after what she wanted. I knew her trepidation did not come from her dad. No phone call made her happier than when she got to speak with her daddy. She loved him and knew he loved her.
If you have ever met her mom, you would know that she absolutely raised Tatiana to be strong and confident. She and her mom were two loving peas-in-a-pod. I loved watching them together.
So… how does a woman who was so well encouraged by her parents develop this level of self-depreciation? All day, every day, women are inundated with images and words that teach them that they are not as good as men. Western religion teaches them that they are second-class to men and must be subservient.
I am glad my parents did not raise me to see women this way. I suppose I have been very naïve about this issue over the years. Merit deserves recognition. This does not only apply to men.
For the years we were together, sometimes Tatiana would make more than me in a year, and sometimes I would make more than her. That is life. It should not be an issue of ego.
Society and religion teach men they must be in charge. Just as women learn they must be subservient, men are taught that women must be subservient as well. This, apparently, makes our egos so fragile that anything less than the constant perpetuation of this system must be fought against and destroyed. Our egos are so fragile that we cannot even handle strong women in movies and on TV. Wonder Woman, a new, female Doctor Who, female ghostbusters… celebrate that the women you love have these strong images now. We have had our own for our entire lives.
These are your wives, your sisters, your daughters. Teach them that they are strong. Teach them that they can accomplish greatness.
In doing so, you will reject pettiness and embrace your own greatness.